Would You Like A Little Cheese With This Whine??

It just plain sucks to be this fat.  (insert pout here)


My whole life I had gradually gained weight at a steady pace.  Last year I had lost 40lbs, and then put them back on (plus a bit more).  I haven't weighed in a looooooong time, but I'm noticing things like having trouble putting on my rings. Ugh. 

At one point last year in an attempt to encourage me to keep up the fight, my Mom presented me with a cardboard box filled with 37lbs of groceries to represent what I had lost at that point.  Let me tell you, I was shocked at how heavy it was!  Now I have put all of that back on, and every day I can honestly feel those extra pounds like never before.  Now factor into this that I am carrying over 230lbs of excess weight every day based on the BMI chart... I so very badly want to shed that extra weight - it is like carrying 10 car tires (or 1 wildebeest, or 2 cheerleaders...) everywhere I go!
Double ugh.

I've decided to write down some things that I hate about being this fat.  Here goes:

• I can't stand up in one place for any amount of time without leaning on something or shuffling from one foot to the other.
• I can't walk the length of myself without getting out of breath.
• My knees hurt.  My feet hurt.  My back hurts.
• I have to ask for special seating at restaurants or public places.
• I have to use seatbelt extenders when I fly and drive.
• I have to worry about things like "will I fit into my friend's car?"
• If I sleep more than 7 or 8 hours I wake up hurting and it is hard to get out of bed.
• My skin sometimes gets chafed so sore that it is hard to walk.
• I can only shop in 1 store in person. I long to be able to shop in a mall!
• I have a hard time finding shoes that fit.
• I have a hard time finding shoes that I can actually do up.
• Other people often look at me with disgust, not knowing that they don't need to because I do that to myself every time I look in the mirror.
• I have suffered at work, and have missed job opportunities because others assume things based on my physical appearance.
• I have been places (like a waiting room, a living room, and even once an entire restaurant) where I simply could not sit down because I could not fit in the chair.
• I have been places where I could not use the bathroom.
• Even sturdy and comfy furniture is not safe - I sadly broke a chair last year at a BBQ, right in the middle of 40 people. Oops - my bad.
• Other people assume they have to accommodate me.  My Mom often drops me off in front of a door and then goes to park the car (and I'm the one who should be walking!).

I REALLY hate that it seems to be becoming the norm to see more people afflicted like me  Obesity is a raging problem, let's face it folks! While I'd love to "fit in", I would rather that people would realise the road they are headed down - and turn the bus around before they get to this size.  As a kid in school I was always one of the biggest, and I felt isolated and alone a lot of the time.  Now when I drive by a school or playground, I see that many kids look like I did.  While it is really important for kids to love themselves and be confident at any size, I just wish that they could see the dangers that lie further down the road.

The good news: it is possible to change all of this - every single bit of it! 
I'm starting with me.  Maybe my efforts to change myself will touch someone else, and enable them to make changes too.  Rome wasn't built in a day, so I can't expect success overnight.

The truth is I have absolutely no need for 10 extra tires, 1 wildebeest, or 2 cheerleaders, so it is time to go about getting rid of them.