Before surgery, food would do a few things for me. First of all, if I was hungry, it would fill me up. It would also often make me feel good - I would relish the taste of most of what I ate. Last but not least, it provided a disconnect from everything else around me. After all, no matter what else was in front of me, if there was food - it took precedence.
Did I have an unhealthy relationship with food? Yes. Obviously. I don't know many super-obese or morbidly-obese people who have a healthy relationship with food.
My biggest struggle now is eating and drinking. It seems that this is normal, and to be expected.
However, it is not my only struggle. The haven that food used to provide is gone. I feel somewhat laid bare by the absence of the disconnect that food used to provide. Mindless eating, after all, used to mean that I didn't even think about what I was putting in my mouth. Now it is the opposite. Not only do I have to think about it, but I have to constantly evaluate what I am eating, when I am eating, and if I am tolerating "enough" food to meet my nutritional goals.
My drug of choice - food - no longer is available to fill the gaps that it used to.
Whatever will I do to fill the void?
I've considered the alternatives. Alcohol is not a good one. It can really mess up the new sleeve. Well, I guess there's sex, but then again I only have so much physio coverage HAHAH! Some around me have suggested that I take up knitting or crocheting. That just makes me think of the old cat lady, sitting in her chair, knitting endless blankets and surrounded by a housefull of cats. Not my thing.
So... I have a solution for now that seems to be working. My plan is to get active. So far I have the green light on "gentle" swimming, so I have taken up the cause and decided to treat my time at the pool as an escape.
Besides, maybe if I open my mouth while I swim, I'll actually get in enough fluids for the day!
Glub glub....
Saturday 26 January 2013
Sunday 13 January 2013
The "Pre and Post" Post
Life has changed immesely with this sleeve. Here's a little glimpse of what a day in my life looked like before the sleeve, and what it looks like now.
A Day in My Life: Pre-Sleeve
Get up. Grab headboard to roll self to side of bed. Sit on side of bed. Get out of bed. Drag self to bathroom. Sit back on bed to get dressed. Carefully descend top flight of stairs to main floor as back is aching. Once on main floor shlep self to front of fridge to contemplate breakfast. Not hungy as stomache still has food from last night. Sometimes force self to eat something not neccessarily of any particular food group, most times not. Drink something to take pill for back pain. Seek refuge in comfy recliner. (General rule of the day is to move as little as is possible.) Continue to think about food as hunger increases. Plan lunch. Execute lunch - all while planning and fantasizing about supper. Cook or procure supper. Later that night eat again as still hungry (shouldn't have skipped breakkie maybe??). Shlep self back up over the stairs and into bed. Eat a TUM (reflux, but then again I'm lying down soon after eating...).
A Day in My Life: Post-Sleeve
Get up. Get out of bed. Use bathroom. Get dressed. Hit the kitchen - HAVE TO DRINK SOMETHING!! Take medication. Evaluate meals planned for the day. Am I getting enough protein? Wait 30 minutes and eat breakfast carefully and slowly. 30 minutes later start sipping again. Keep hydrated. Consult daily "to do list". Shopping? Housework? Appointments? Not hungry but must eat. Lunch already planned. Stop drinking 30 minutes prior. Eat lunch (slowly, as that is the only way I can eat). Focus on stomache - is food tolerated? Chew each small mouthful at least 30 times to a paste. Log all morsels in daily food diary app. 30 minutes later... keep drinking! Stay hydrated! Get out. Do something. Avoid recliner (or limit use). Drink! Remember to stop drinking 30 minutes prior to supper (which again has already been planned due to neccessity). Eat supper carefully. Wait 30 minutes. Drink drink drink. Drink again. Evaluate day's progress re nutrition. Did I get enough protein? Did I drink enough liquid? Plan meals for next couple of days. Sleep.
In a nutshell, pre-sleeve my life was pretty much consumed by food. When I would eat, what I would eat. I would fantasize about the next meal while eating the current meal.
Now that I'm sleeved, I have to remember to eat and to drink. I do need to plan meals and think about their nutritional content, BUT there is no fantasy involved - food has lost its allure. It is quite a battle actually to try and plan meals when I am never hungry. It is also a struggle to eat (and to drink!) - the process is exhausting. It seems like with this surgery everything that I consume requires thought and preparation. Mindless eating is not an option (thank GOD!).
Some people refer to weight loss surgery as "the easy way out". Is it easy? Hell no. If I neglect myself I will end up in hospital within 24-28 hours. This is a constant battle of trying to eat - trying to digest food - trying to drink enough liquid. The only easy part of the whole thing for me is that I am physically unable to over-eat, but that has come at a cost.
That being said, this is the best decision I have ever made. This surgery has changed my life. Overeating is no longer an option - once my sleeve has had enough it lets me know by pressure and pain. Mindless eating is no longer an option - I can only consume so little that it has to be as nutritionally sufficient as is possible. Sure I could neglect myself still - for example, by skipping meals or liquids. However now it is much more serious, with the outcome being dehydration requiring hospitalization.
Aside from moving better and feeling better, I have become ultimately aware of and accountable for what I put in my body. While it is a complex struggle, it is a fight that I'm happy to have for the rest of my life.
I would rather live this life as a participant than as an observer, so fight I will!
A Day in My Life: Pre-Sleeve
Get up. Grab headboard to roll self to side of bed. Sit on side of bed. Get out of bed. Drag self to bathroom. Sit back on bed to get dressed. Carefully descend top flight of stairs to main floor as back is aching. Once on main floor shlep self to front of fridge to contemplate breakfast. Not hungy as stomache still has food from last night. Sometimes force self to eat something not neccessarily of any particular food group, most times not. Drink something to take pill for back pain. Seek refuge in comfy recliner. (General rule of the day is to move as little as is possible.) Continue to think about food as hunger increases. Plan lunch. Execute lunch - all while planning and fantasizing about supper. Cook or procure supper. Later that night eat again as still hungry (shouldn't have skipped breakkie maybe??). Shlep self back up over the stairs and into bed. Eat a TUM (reflux, but then again I'm lying down soon after eating...).
A Day in My Life: Post-Sleeve
Get up. Get out of bed. Use bathroom. Get dressed. Hit the kitchen - HAVE TO DRINK SOMETHING!! Take medication. Evaluate meals planned for the day. Am I getting enough protein? Wait 30 minutes and eat breakfast carefully and slowly. 30 minutes later start sipping again. Keep hydrated. Consult daily "to do list". Shopping? Housework? Appointments? Not hungry but must eat. Lunch already planned. Stop drinking 30 minutes prior. Eat lunch (slowly, as that is the only way I can eat). Focus on stomache - is food tolerated? Chew each small mouthful at least 30 times to a paste. Log all morsels in daily food diary app. 30 minutes later... keep drinking! Stay hydrated! Get out. Do something. Avoid recliner (or limit use). Drink! Remember to stop drinking 30 minutes prior to supper (which again has already been planned due to neccessity). Eat supper carefully. Wait 30 minutes. Drink drink drink. Drink again. Evaluate day's progress re nutrition. Did I get enough protein? Did I drink enough liquid? Plan meals for next couple of days. Sleep.
In a nutshell, pre-sleeve my life was pretty much consumed by food. When I would eat, what I would eat. I would fantasize about the next meal while eating the current meal.
Now that I'm sleeved, I have to remember to eat and to drink. I do need to plan meals and think about their nutritional content, BUT there is no fantasy involved - food has lost its allure. It is quite a battle actually to try and plan meals when I am never hungry. It is also a struggle to eat (and to drink!) - the process is exhausting. It seems like with this surgery everything that I consume requires thought and preparation. Mindless eating is not an option (thank GOD!).
Some people refer to weight loss surgery as "the easy way out". Is it easy? Hell no. If I neglect myself I will end up in hospital within 24-28 hours. This is a constant battle of trying to eat - trying to digest food - trying to drink enough liquid. The only easy part of the whole thing for me is that I am physically unable to over-eat, but that has come at a cost.
That being said, this is the best decision I have ever made. This surgery has changed my life. Overeating is no longer an option - once my sleeve has had enough it lets me know by pressure and pain. Mindless eating is no longer an option - I can only consume so little that it has to be as nutritionally sufficient as is possible. Sure I could neglect myself still - for example, by skipping meals or liquids. However now it is much more serious, with the outcome being dehydration requiring hospitalization.
Aside from moving better and feeling better, I have become ultimately aware of and accountable for what I put in my body. While it is a complex struggle, it is a fight that I'm happy to have for the rest of my life.
I would rather live this life as a participant than as an observer, so fight I will!
Wednesday 9 January 2013
Weightless
There is danger with placing the emphasis on weight loss solely on the weight that is lost.
Since surgery, my body has been changing at a very fast pace. Aside from my shape, I'm noticing that my stamina has increased dramatically. We live in a 3-story townhouse, and pre-surgery I detested the stairs. Honestly - if I was on the 2nd story and realized that I had left something on the 3rd floor, it was more often than not likely to remain on the 3rd floor until I had to go up there. Moving around at 414lbs was not fun by any means, as you can probably imagine.
Yesterday I surprised my Hubby. See, Hubby does all of the laundry in our house - he calls it a fair trade to not have to do the bathrooms hahaha! Yesterday on the way out the door, he brought our laundry down the 2 flights of stairs so that he could get at it when he got home in the evening. Well, I woke up so full of energy that I looked for something to do that did not involve our comfy recliner. I did a little light housework and then hopped down the stairs and started in on the laundry. Hubby returned home to not only 5 loads of laundry done, but a wonderful meal of steak and veggies for his supper. I even made a lemon sponge cake for dessert which he didn't touch (he is really working at trying to decipher when he is "full", and he is doing great! My supper meal consisted of 50 grams of diced chicken with a little (1tsp) spinach dip on the side. I could not eat all of it so I gladly stored the leftovers. At the end of the meal, we each had enough left for another meal. By the way - one of the after-effects of a VSG means a fridge full of left-overs and partial meals. I'm saving a fortune here people!!
Anyhow - I wanted to talk about weight. Even though I've just had surgery to lose weight, I have to say that the biggest motivator is not the scales - it is how GOOD I feel. I can go up the stairs now without even thinking about it. One day last week I walked through two malls with my Mom in the same day. The last time I can remember doing that was in Junior High School (25 years ago...). I didn't even realize that I had done that until we got home.
There is danger with placing the emphasis on weight loss solely on the weight that is lost. There - I've said it again because it bears repeating.
See, if I measure my success only by the numbers on the scale, I would not get the full picture of my journey. Yes, I've lost 30 pounds. BUT, I've gained the ability to move much better. To climb stairs without hesitating or bemoaning their existence. To walk more than I had in 2.5 decades. To fit into smaller clothing. To feel vibrant, full of energy, and capable of just about anything.
I have met more than a few people on this journey who are addicted to the scales. Some of my "sleeve sisters" weigh every day. Some even weigh multiple times a day. And for what? To watch the weight fall off in decimals? To beat themselves up when there is a stall? To give themselves a reason to wonder what they are doing wrong?? This frustrates me to no end, because I'm just as guilty. During my time at WW, I learned to detest the weekly weigh-in. There was just so much pressure that I put on myself every week. Would I lose "enough"? Would I be good "enough"? I have decided to only weigh at clinical appointments so that I can avoid the same torture on a routine basis.
I have often wished that I could be weightless. Seeing as I'm not an astronaut, the only place that I can achieve weightlessness is in the pool which I LOVE. There is no way to ignore my weight on this journey, but I am going to actively refuse to beat myself up or try to measure my progress against anyone else.
Fact is - I feel better, I move better, I look better, and I'm living better.
Sarah McLachlan pretty much sums up how I feel in her song Angel:
"There's always some reason
To feel not good enough,
And it's hard, at the end of the day.
I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.
Let me be empty,
Oh, and weightless,
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight."
You can listen to it by playing the video below:
Since surgery, my body has been changing at a very fast pace. Aside from my shape, I'm noticing that my stamina has increased dramatically. We live in a 3-story townhouse, and pre-surgery I detested the stairs. Honestly - if I was on the 2nd story and realized that I had left something on the 3rd floor, it was more often than not likely to remain on the 3rd floor until I had to go up there. Moving around at 414lbs was not fun by any means, as you can probably imagine.
Yesterday I surprised my Hubby. See, Hubby does all of the laundry in our house - he calls it a fair trade to not have to do the bathrooms hahaha! Yesterday on the way out the door, he brought our laundry down the 2 flights of stairs so that he could get at it when he got home in the evening. Well, I woke up so full of energy that I looked for something to do that did not involve our comfy recliner. I did a little light housework and then hopped down the stairs and started in on the laundry. Hubby returned home to not only 5 loads of laundry done, but a wonderful meal of steak and veggies for his supper. I even made a lemon sponge cake for dessert which he didn't touch (he is really working at trying to decipher when he is "full", and he is doing great! My supper meal consisted of 50 grams of diced chicken with a little (1tsp) spinach dip on the side. I could not eat all of it so I gladly stored the leftovers. At the end of the meal, we each had enough left for another meal. By the way - one of the after-effects of a VSG means a fridge full of left-overs and partial meals. I'm saving a fortune here people!!
Anyhow - I wanted to talk about weight. Even though I've just had surgery to lose weight, I have to say that the biggest motivator is not the scales - it is how GOOD I feel. I can go up the stairs now without even thinking about it. One day last week I walked through two malls with my Mom in the same day. The last time I can remember doing that was in Junior High School (25 years ago...). I didn't even realize that I had done that until we got home.
There is danger with placing the emphasis on weight loss solely on the weight that is lost. There - I've said it again because it bears repeating.
See, if I measure my success only by the numbers on the scale, I would not get the full picture of my journey. Yes, I've lost 30 pounds. BUT, I've gained the ability to move much better. To climb stairs without hesitating or bemoaning their existence. To walk more than I had in 2.5 decades. To fit into smaller clothing. To feel vibrant, full of energy, and capable of just about anything.
I have met more than a few people on this journey who are addicted to the scales. Some of my "sleeve sisters" weigh every day. Some even weigh multiple times a day. And for what? To watch the weight fall off in decimals? To beat themselves up when there is a stall? To give themselves a reason to wonder what they are doing wrong?? This frustrates me to no end, because I'm just as guilty. During my time at WW, I learned to detest the weekly weigh-in. There was just so much pressure that I put on myself every week. Would I lose "enough"? Would I be good "enough"? I have decided to only weigh at clinical appointments so that I can avoid the same torture on a routine basis.
I have often wished that I could be weightless. Seeing as I'm not an astronaut, the only place that I can achieve weightlessness is in the pool which I LOVE. There is no way to ignore my weight on this journey, but I am going to actively refuse to beat myself up or try to measure my progress against anyone else.
Fact is - I feel better, I move better, I look better, and I'm living better.
Sarah McLachlan pretty much sums up how I feel in her song Angel:
"There's always some reason
To feel not good enough,
And it's hard, at the end of the day.
I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.
Let me be empty,
Oh, and weightless,
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight."
You can listen to it by playing the video below:
Monday 7 January 2013
4 Week Update!
Ok, so it is officially 4 weeks out from surgery. Tra la la :) ... I'm skipping and twirling and dancing even as I type this LOL.
A lot of people have been asking me how I've been feeling. Well, the best way to put it is that I feel totally new. Reborn. Unearthed. 130%. Top notch. Like a quadrillion dollars. Food has lost it's glimmer. No longer beckoning to me in my mind. It has completely lost its power, and I am free from the constant thoughts of it. I am no longer hungry - at all. While I've heard that hunger might return, I also know that it can be silenced with a drink of water!
See, food used to taunt me. It was a constant presence in my mind, even if I wasn't fully aware of it. I'd think of groceries that we needed, and go get them. Now, first of all, it has to be said that for me personally a trip to the grocery store was like sending an alcoholic on a pub-crawl. Except for the rare occasions where I would be pressed for time and would dash in and out of the store - most of the time I would walk up and down the aisles pushing a cart with a glazed look in my eyes (and yes, sometimes maybe even a little drool...). Even better, when I'd come home from the shop and put it away, I'd find things in my own cupboards that would have the same effect. As someone who loves food and seriously loves to cook - setting me loose at the supermarket was like sending a kid to Disney. Even better, once all of the food was bought, put away, and the evening meal planned - I would already be thinking about the next thing I would eat and/or make. It has been this way for me since the dawn of time.
Now - food is just food. It is like the kibble that we give our precious dog. The freedom of hunger is one thing. The freedom of fantasizing about food is another. This is very much a battle here. See, I can only eat so much. I'm on "mushies" now, which is things like mashed carrots, peanut butter, and ground turkey (not together mind you YUCK!). Say for example I am sitting down to eat supper. I take the food and mash it, then it takes a l-o-n-g time to consume the small amount that I can eat. Aside from the physical battle of figuring out what my stomache will tolerate and dealing with the wrath when things don't go down well... I have a mental battle of honestly trying to REMEMBER to eat and even to drink. It's like I've done a 180 and I'm in a new and foreign land (which I never hope to leave!!).
I learned a great lesson this week. I went to a movie, which previously would have been an expedition of eating to excess. We're talking popcorn, a hotdog, a bar, and yes - sometimes even a pretzel. (Not to mention the ginormous soda!). This all would have been bad enough but I'm the kind of person who drenches the popcorn with a sea of butter from the machine - I would honestly stand there with my thumb on the button so long that I'd have to shift from one foot to the other. I can't even imagine now how I could ever eat that amount or even that food! Anyhow, so I'm at the theatre in the lineup. The smells hit me first - the fresh popcorn (which is a definite no-no for someone recently sleeved as I've heard it can wreck the staple line!), the butter... you know how this goes.
I look at my options. Really, all that I could have would have been bottled water, juice, or frozen yogurt. Well, let me tell you - I've been freezing cold since surgery, and the thoughts of having anything frozen was less than appealing. So I went with nachos (no salsa of course!).
I had one bite of one nacho, and after 30 chews, I swallowed.
UUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
My sleeve did NOT want nachos. So I did what anyone would do. I threw them out!! And I went back and ordered frozen yogurt even though I could only have 1/4 Cup before I was stuffed like a turkey.
What did I learn?? That it is 100% OK to go to a movie and NOT EAT. Man, I'm going to save a bloody fortune hahaha!
Now - the update. I have to admit, I was really hesitant to get weighed today. I actually came up with a plan yesterday that I would not weigh for one year. Yup, that was my plan. That way, I'd have to have at least something gone in a year, right??
Well, after talking to a bunch of my sleeve sisters, I realized that my thinking was yet again screwed up. Thankfully they gave me a collective boot in the "arse" and set me straight. Fact is, I NEED to weigh - just so that I can catch bad habits down the road and turn things around if I'm getting slack.
Anyhow - the update from the Dr. today was great. 30 pounds down in the 4 weeks since surgery. When I did Weight Watchers a few years ago it took me 8 months to lose 40 pounds, so this puts my progress in perspective. My initial feeling was wondering what my other friends had lost at 4 weeks out, but let's face it, we are all individuals - and I shouldn't compare myself to others. I'm ME! And I'm totally delighted to be 30 lbs less than I was 28 days ago. YAY! Makes me wonder what I'll be when I weigh again at my follow-up appointment in 4 weeks.
No worries - of course I'll keep you posted ;)
A lot of people have been asking me how I've been feeling. Well, the best way to put it is that I feel totally new. Reborn. Unearthed. 130%. Top notch. Like a quadrillion dollars. Food has lost it's glimmer. No longer beckoning to me in my mind. It has completely lost its power, and I am free from the constant thoughts of it. I am no longer hungry - at all. While I've heard that hunger might return, I also know that it can be silenced with a drink of water!
See, food used to taunt me. It was a constant presence in my mind, even if I wasn't fully aware of it. I'd think of groceries that we needed, and go get them. Now, first of all, it has to be said that for me personally a trip to the grocery store was like sending an alcoholic on a pub-crawl. Except for the rare occasions where I would be pressed for time and would dash in and out of the store - most of the time I would walk up and down the aisles pushing a cart with a glazed look in my eyes (and yes, sometimes maybe even a little drool...). Even better, when I'd come home from the shop and put it away, I'd find things in my own cupboards that would have the same effect. As someone who loves food and seriously loves to cook - setting me loose at the supermarket was like sending a kid to Disney. Even better, once all of the food was bought, put away, and the evening meal planned - I would already be thinking about the next thing I would eat and/or make. It has been this way for me since the dawn of time.
Now - food is just food. It is like the kibble that we give our precious dog. The freedom of hunger is one thing. The freedom of fantasizing about food is another. This is very much a battle here. See, I can only eat so much. I'm on "mushies" now, which is things like mashed carrots, peanut butter, and ground turkey (not together mind you YUCK!). Say for example I am sitting down to eat supper. I take the food and mash it, then it takes a l-o-n-g time to consume the small amount that I can eat. Aside from the physical battle of figuring out what my stomache will tolerate and dealing with the wrath when things don't go down well... I have a mental battle of honestly trying to REMEMBER to eat and even to drink. It's like I've done a 180 and I'm in a new and foreign land (which I never hope to leave!!).
I learned a great lesson this week. I went to a movie, which previously would have been an expedition of eating to excess. We're talking popcorn, a hotdog, a bar, and yes - sometimes even a pretzel. (Not to mention the ginormous soda!). This all would have been bad enough but I'm the kind of person who drenches the popcorn with a sea of butter from the machine - I would honestly stand there with my thumb on the button so long that I'd have to shift from one foot to the other. I can't even imagine now how I could ever eat that amount or even that food! Anyhow, so I'm at the theatre in the lineup. The smells hit me first - the fresh popcorn (which is a definite no-no for someone recently sleeved as I've heard it can wreck the staple line!), the butter... you know how this goes.
I look at my options. Really, all that I could have would have been bottled water, juice, or frozen yogurt. Well, let me tell you - I've been freezing cold since surgery, and the thoughts of having anything frozen was less than appealing. So I went with nachos (no salsa of course!).
I had one bite of one nacho, and after 30 chews, I swallowed.
UUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
My sleeve did NOT want nachos. So I did what anyone would do. I threw them out!! And I went back and ordered frozen yogurt even though I could only have 1/4 Cup before I was stuffed like a turkey.
What did I learn?? That it is 100% OK to go to a movie and NOT EAT. Man, I'm going to save a bloody fortune hahaha!
Now - the update. I have to admit, I was really hesitant to get weighed today. I actually came up with a plan yesterday that I would not weigh for one year. Yup, that was my plan. That way, I'd have to have at least something gone in a year, right??
Well, after talking to a bunch of my sleeve sisters, I realized that my thinking was yet again screwed up. Thankfully they gave me a collective boot in the "arse" and set me straight. Fact is, I NEED to weigh - just so that I can catch bad habits down the road and turn things around if I'm getting slack.
Anyhow - the update from the Dr. today was great. 30 pounds down in the 4 weeks since surgery. When I did Weight Watchers a few years ago it took me 8 months to lose 40 pounds, so this puts my progress in perspective. My initial feeling was wondering what my other friends had lost at 4 weeks out, but let's face it, we are all individuals - and I shouldn't compare myself to others. I'm ME! And I'm totally delighted to be 30 lbs less than I was 28 days ago. YAY! Makes me wonder what I'll be when I weigh again at my follow-up appointment in 4 weeks.
No worries - of course I'll keep you posted ;)
Tuesday 1 January 2013
No Pain - No Gain
I have to say, I'm one of the lucky ones in terms of recovering from my VSG surgery. I had no complications at all. I was up, dressed, and walking the halls of the hospital one short hour after returning to the floor after surgery. Even better, my staples caused me no drama - and other than the normal and expected odd gas discomfort - I would never know that I had major surgery 3 short weeks ago.
I still have no idea how much weight I've lost. I'm gearing myself up to step on the scales though, as I will be seeing my Dr. next week at my 4 week post-op appointment, and I will be weighing then. My clothes are looser, my watch is looser, and my rings are floating on my fingers. Thankfully I took my measurements the night before surgery so that I will always have something to compare to in case the scales are not tipping in my favour.
That being said, this surgery makes it hard to go wrong. It is simply not possible for me to eat anything in any amount, so cheating is more like putting a piece of chocolate on your tongue instead of hitting the Golden Arches for 2 plus-sized combos. My friends have helped me realise many things along the way so far, one of which is that I need to lose my fear of fooling this up.
In the sleeve world, there are ways to go wrong. Carbonated drinks, for example, can bloat the sleeve and actually encourage it to stretch a little. No problem for me - I bade them farewell without an issue and don't miss them at all. Other questionable behaviour includes drinking alcohol simply because it messes with your system - one drink might now actually put you at intoxicated - or on the other hand, it may now take an excess amount to even feel a buzz. No problem for me - I won't drink. (I didn't drink til I was 34 and met Hubby, so I have no issues returning to the "non-drinker" status. I made the mistake of receiving communion while at church on Christmas Eve, and let me tell you the pain of the wine hitting my sleeve was something that I don't care to revisit anytime soon!
In terms of food, a very long way away from where I am right now, I will be able to eat just about anything - but in smaller portions. Of course like anything, if I consistently try to push the envelope with portions I can also stretch the sleeve - but the part of the stomache that has been removed is the most elastic part, so even this sabotage would take a very long time. (Not that I want to sabotage!!).
Neglect - which I have been guilty of my whole lifetime - is more of a concern. I no longer have any hunger. This requires me to actively think about needing to eat something now - and even drink liquid. If I dive into mindless behaviour such as channel surfing or playing video games, I could very well skip all meals and all liquid requirements. I think that is the biggest possibility of failure - because the potential is there to totally wreck my metabolism.
So today - marking the new year - I have realised that I need to try my best to actually observe 3 meals a day. I started with oatmeal, ate a half cup and was full. For lunch I had vegetable soup broth and it was glorious. And for supper we were invited out to my Brother in Law's for ham and all of the fixins. I'm very happy to report that I managed to eat 4 tablespoons of mashed turnip, carrot, and potato. Then I was as stuffed as I had ever been... and it all went down fine (after chewing very small portions extensively of course).
I am wrestling a little with heartburn and reflux and have been since surgery. In the coming weeks and months with medical supervision I will hopefully find a prescription that fixes these little issues. But overall, I feel absolutely top-notch. 110 percent. I'm returning to work in 3 weeks and I'm looking forward to it - but I have to stop napping first lol! This should be easier once I am able to consume more calories for energy.
I have no pain.... and any luck at all I'll have no gain.
I guess I couldn't possibly hope for anything more!!
I still have no idea how much weight I've lost. I'm gearing myself up to step on the scales though, as I will be seeing my Dr. next week at my 4 week post-op appointment, and I will be weighing then. My clothes are looser, my watch is looser, and my rings are floating on my fingers. Thankfully I took my measurements the night before surgery so that I will always have something to compare to in case the scales are not tipping in my favour.
That being said, this surgery makes it hard to go wrong. It is simply not possible for me to eat anything in any amount, so cheating is more like putting a piece of chocolate on your tongue instead of hitting the Golden Arches for 2 plus-sized combos. My friends have helped me realise many things along the way so far, one of which is that I need to lose my fear of fooling this up.
In the sleeve world, there are ways to go wrong. Carbonated drinks, for example, can bloat the sleeve and actually encourage it to stretch a little. No problem for me - I bade them farewell without an issue and don't miss them at all. Other questionable behaviour includes drinking alcohol simply because it messes with your system - one drink might now actually put you at intoxicated - or on the other hand, it may now take an excess amount to even feel a buzz. No problem for me - I won't drink. (I didn't drink til I was 34 and met Hubby, so I have no issues returning to the "non-drinker" status. I made the mistake of receiving communion while at church on Christmas Eve, and let me tell you the pain of the wine hitting my sleeve was something that I don't care to revisit anytime soon!
In terms of food, a very long way away from where I am right now, I will be able to eat just about anything - but in smaller portions. Of course like anything, if I consistently try to push the envelope with portions I can also stretch the sleeve - but the part of the stomache that has been removed is the most elastic part, so even this sabotage would take a very long time. (Not that I want to sabotage!!).
Neglect - which I have been guilty of my whole lifetime - is more of a concern. I no longer have any hunger. This requires me to actively think about needing to eat something now - and even drink liquid. If I dive into mindless behaviour such as channel surfing or playing video games, I could very well skip all meals and all liquid requirements. I think that is the biggest possibility of failure - because the potential is there to totally wreck my metabolism.
So today - marking the new year - I have realised that I need to try my best to actually observe 3 meals a day. I started with oatmeal, ate a half cup and was full. For lunch I had vegetable soup broth and it was glorious. And for supper we were invited out to my Brother in Law's for ham and all of the fixins. I'm very happy to report that I managed to eat 4 tablespoons of mashed turnip, carrot, and potato. Then I was as stuffed as I had ever been... and it all went down fine (after chewing very small portions extensively of course).
I am wrestling a little with heartburn and reflux and have been since surgery. In the coming weeks and months with medical supervision I will hopefully find a prescription that fixes these little issues. But overall, I feel absolutely top-notch. 110 percent. I'm returning to work in 3 weeks and I'm looking forward to it - but I have to stop napping first lol! This should be easier once I am able to consume more calories for energy.
I have no pain.... and any luck at all I'll have no gain.
I guess I couldn't possibly hope for anything more!!
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