Yet, I feel like I'm in limbo.
Even though I'm busy, I feel stuck.
I haven't been taking care of myself as I should. In fact, even worse - I've been knowingly neglecting myself and sitting back watching it all happen. Witnessing it first hand, feeling miserable, and yet seemingly incapable of initiating change.
I think I kind of fooled myself into thinking that by going through the preliminary steps of the planning stages of bariatric surgery that I was actually doing something for myself.
Sure, I'm still planning on having the surgery. But why have I settled back into the OLD routine of not watching what I'm eating, or worse; watching myself eat something I really know that I should not eat?? And to make matters even more desperate, I've become aware that I'm eating sometimes when I'm not even truly hungry (gasp!).
Oh my. Rome wasn't built in a day, but it seems that it is terrifyingly possible to dismantle a city overnight.
I need to do something. I might not have control over some of the things that are happening in my life right now, such as waiting for the stork to leave us a present or getting the call about surgery. But I DO have control over how I live my life in the meanwhile.
It's time to get to business here. I need to feel better. That won't come from eating crap. It just won't.
I need to start feeling better. To eat things that I like (which include veggies, fruit, and believe it or not healthier food!).
I need to regain control of my health, my nutrition, and my self.
I'm sick of this limbo, besides... I fear I have set my pole too low and I need to raise the bar. I'd rather be trying to achieve something than sitting around and waiting for something to happen.
Here's to a better tomorrow...
