As my first post "Numero Uno" pointed out - I had a previous blog on Weight Watchers online that was pretty popular. (Um, FYI - if you have just randomly surfed here and didn't already know... I'm a fat chick looking for freedom... if you're looking for potato recipes then this is really the wrong blog.
Onward and upward.
A little background: I joined WW in September of 2010. By April 2011 I managed to shed 40lbs (yay me) and felt awesome. As I began to add physical fitness to my daily living, I started to gain weight (yup - rebuilding muscle), but the fact is my poor little brain couldn't take the epic fail week after week. Warning: you may want a little cheese with this whine: I just didn't want to gain AT ALL, and I got pretty damned sick of having the receptionist bash her petite little eyelashes at me and ask me week after week if I was expecting a gain.
Expecting a gain, you say? Moi? Nope. Truth is, I had been killing myself at the gym. Doing real stoooopid things like ignoring the advice of the kind ladies at Curves who insisted I might do better if I paced myself. I worked like a dog, and the scales went up. I didn't care if it was muscle... I wanted it all to end. So I gradually withdrew. I lost all confidence in myself. And despite my best intentions of holding it all together and getting back on track, I gained back the 40lbs plus. I have abandoned ship off of the S.S. Weight Watchers, and am now pursuing surgical options a la vertical sleeve type.
I no longer feel awesome. I feel like a sack of poo. I'm morbidly obese (God I hate that term, but let's face it, "plus size" has no plus to it, and "super-size" ain't that super either).
There is another story here - a significant one. I want to have a child. I'm turning 39 tomorrow, and my baby clock is in full-force alarm mode (you know that alarm clock with the militant buzz... one without a sleep setting? Yup, that's my reproductive organs clanging constantly to procreate NOW...)
So, in my quest to find myself, to find health, and to get preggers... I have realized that I need to blog just to sort out all of the cobwebs rattling around upstairs in my noggin. I also want to stay accountable to someone, even if it is just the random person who surfed here looking for potato recipes...
Stay safe out there, kids.
Sorry that WW's wasn't for you but happy to hear that you are continuing on your journey and figuring out what does works for u. I do hope for u that one day you won't let the scale define you so much and embrace more on being healthier, fitter, and stonger regardless what the scale says. It will all come together for you, I believe that. And I believe you will be at that healthier point in your life to have a baby. Keep on blogging and plugging at it!! :-)
ReplyDeletelove your blog! I feel like you are telling my life story :)
ReplyDeletekeep blogging... i want to keep reading!