Disconnect

Before surgery, food would do a few things for me.  First of all, if I was hungry, it would fill me up.  It would also often make me feel good - I would relish the taste of most of what I ate.  Last but not least, it provided a disconnect from everything else around me.  After all, no matter what else was in front of me, if there was food - it took precedence.

Did I have an unhealthy relationship with food?  Yes.  Obviously.  I don't know many super-obese or morbidly-obese people who have a healthy relationship with food.

My biggest struggle now is eating and drinking.  It seems that this is normal, and to be expected.

However, it is not my only struggle.  The haven that food used to provide is gone.  I feel somewhat laid bare by the absence of the disconnect that food used to provide.  Mindless eating, after all, used to mean that I didn't even think about what I was putting in my mouth.  Now it is the opposite.  Not only do I have to think about it, but I have to constantly evaluate what I am eating, when I am eating, and if I am tolerating "enough" food to meet my nutritional goals.

My drug of choice - food - no longer is available to fill the gaps that it used to.

Whatever will I do to fill the void?

I've considered the alternatives.  Alcohol is not a good one.  It can really mess up the new sleeve.  Well, I guess there's sex, but then again I only have so much physio coverage HAHAH! Some around me have suggested that I take up knitting or crocheting.  That just makes me think of the old cat lady, sitting in her chair, knitting endless blankets and surrounded by a housefull of cats.  Not my thing.

So... I have a solution for now that seems to be working.  My plan is to get active.  So far I have the green light on "gentle" swimming, so I have taken up the cause and decided to treat my time at the pool as an escape. 

Besides, maybe if I open my mouth while I swim, I'll actually get in enough fluids for the day!

Glub glub....