4 Week Update!

Ok, so it is officially 4 weeks out from surgery.  Tra la la :) ...  I'm skipping and twirling and dancing even as I type this LOL.

A lot of people have been asking me how I've been feeling.  Well, the best way to put it is that I feel totally new.  Reborn.  Unearthed.  130%.  Top notch.  Like a quadrillion dollars.  Food has lost it's glimmer.  No longer beckoning to me in my mind.  It has completely lost its power, and I am free from the constant thoughts of it.  I am no longer hungry - at all.  While I've heard that hunger might return, I also know that it can be silenced with a drink of water!

See, food used to taunt me.  It was a constant presence in my mind, even if I wasn't fully aware of it.  I'd think of groceries that we needed, and go get them.  Now, first of all, it has to be said that for me personally a trip to the grocery store was like sending an alcoholic on a pub-crawl.  Except for the rare occasions where I would be pressed for time and would dash in and out of the store - most of the time I would walk up and down the aisles pushing a cart with a glazed look in my eyes (and yes, sometimes maybe even a little drool...).  Even better, when I'd come home from the shop and put it away, I'd find things in my own cupboards that would have the same effect.  As someone who loves food and seriously loves to cook - setting me loose at the supermarket was like sending a kid to Disney.  Even better, once all of the food was bought, put away, and the evening meal planned - I would already be thinking about the next thing I would eat and/or make.  It has been this way for me since the dawn of time.

Now - food is just food.  It is like the kibble that we give our precious dog.  The freedom of hunger is one thing.  The freedom of fantasizing about food is another.  This is very much a battle here.  See, I can only eat so much.  I'm on "mushies" now, which is things like mashed carrots, peanut butter, and ground turkey (not together mind you YUCK!).  Say for example I am sitting down to eat supper.  I take the food and mash it, then it takes a l-o-n-g time to consume the small amount that I can eat.  Aside from the physical battle of figuring out what my stomache will tolerate and dealing with the wrath when things don't go down well... I have a mental battle of honestly trying to REMEMBER to eat and even to drink.  It's like I've done a 180 and I'm in a new and foreign land (which I never hope to leave!!).

I learned a great lesson this week.  I went to a movie, which previously would have been an expedition of eating to excess.  We're talking popcorn, a hotdog, a bar, and yes - sometimes even a pretzel.  (Not to mention the ginormous soda!).  This all would have been bad enough but I'm the kind of person who drenches the popcorn with a sea of butter from the machine - I would honestly stand there with my thumb on the button so long that I'd have to shift from one foot to the other.  I can't even imagine now how I could ever eat that amount or even that food!  Anyhow, so I'm at the theatre in the lineup.  The smells hit me first - the fresh popcorn (which is a definite no-no for someone recently sleeved as I've heard it can wreck the staple line!), the butter... you know how this goes.

I look at my options.  Really, all that I could have would have been bottled water, juice, or frozen yogurt.  Well, let me tell you - I've been freezing cold since surgery, and the thoughts of having anything frozen was less than appealing. So I went with nachos (no salsa of course!). 

I had one bite of one nacho, and after 30 chews, I swallowed. 

UUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

My sleeve did NOT want nachos.  So I did what anyone would do.  I threw them out!!  And I went back and ordered frozen yogurt even though I could only have 1/4 Cup before I was stuffed like a turkey.

What did I learn??  That it is 100% OK to go to a movie and NOT EAT.  Man, I'm going to save a bloody fortune hahaha!

Now - the update.  I have to admit, I was really hesitant to get weighed today.  I actually came up with a plan yesterday that I would not weigh for one year. Yup, that was my plan.  That way, I'd have to have at least something gone in a year, right??
Well, after talking to a bunch of my sleeve sisters, I realized that my thinking was yet again screwed up.  Thankfully they gave me a collective boot in the "arse" and set me straight.  Fact is, I NEED to weigh - just so that I can catch bad habits down the road and turn things around if I'm getting slack.

Anyhow - the update from the Dr. today was great.  30 pounds down in the 4 weeks since surgery.  When I did Weight Watchers a few years ago it took me 8 months to lose 40 pounds, so this puts my progress in perspective.  My initial feeling was wondering what my other friends had lost at 4 weeks out, but let's face it, we are all individuals - and I shouldn't compare myself to others.  I'm ME!  And I'm totally delighted to be 30 lbs less than I was 28 days ago.  YAY!  Makes me wonder what I'll be when I weigh again at my follow-up appointment in 4 weeks.

No worries - of course I'll keep you posted ;)