Q- "When are you two going to have a baby?"
A- "When people stop asking."
Q- "You've been married now for long enough. Time to get at it, don't you think?"
A- "Yes, the three years we've been married feels like a lifetime. Especially when we have to deal with family members like yourself at occasions like these."
Q- "My Goodness - you two aren't getting any younger. Have you thought about having kids?"
A- "Oh yes. We'd also like to have a 7 bedroom mansion, 2 corvettes, and a petting barn."
Q- "So do you two have any news????"
A- "Well, according to Anderson Cooper things aren't going so hot in Syria right now."
Q- "Is that a baby bump I see?"
A- "No, but here's my fist..."
Q- "You might want to start trying soon, given your age. Are you planning to try?"
A- "Isn't age a funny thing? Yes, I'm approaching 40, but I look a good ten years younger. Funny how some of us manage to avoid shriveling up like dried prunes, and some of us -like yourself- can't age with any sort of grace or dignity."
Q- "You know how desperately your parents want to be grandparents. You're not planning on disappointing them, are you?"
A - "Well, it would be more disappointing for them to have to bail me out of the prison after I bash in your skull with a shovel and leave your raggedy-ass carcass in the hot desert for the vultures to feast on..."
(ok, so that's a bit of a stretch...)
I, of course, used Google to search what advice was out there for people like us. The best advice I have found is that Hubby and I need to decide together on what sort of responses we will give, and what questions we simply will not tolerate. We will do this on the way out of town today.
I also read that it is perfectly acceptable to ditch a conversation if you feel that it is starting to bother you immensely, and excuse yourself for some fresh air or quality time in the loo. I think I'll come up with a signal to give Hubby so that he'll know if I end up bailing on him that A) I'm ok, and B) I'll be back. Hmmm... I could chose a random body motion such as an eye to wink, however he just might miss that given his lack of ability to locate the bright shiny new bottle of ketchup in the front of the top shelf of the fridge.
I've got it... I'll use a codeword. One that will make him understand that I just need an escape from the nosy parker who is invading our privacy. One that assures him that I love him dearly and I'll be ok but I just need a self-imposed time-out. One that I can delicately slip to him in his ear that will be our little secret....
"Shovel." ... It's perfect! ....
Not only does it explain to him why I'm leaving.... it also lets him in on my plan and informs him of what I've gone to get...
I had this as we were married in 91 then waited 2 years and then started trying and 2 miscarriages later... so my first wasn't born until 97 - so for years heard all manner of nosey Qs and from some people I barely knew at work.
ReplyDeleteAt one point I was totally fed up - so when one older women asked I looked her straight in the eye and said, "you seem mature enough to know better than to ask that. For all you know we have been trying for 4 years and had some mis-starts, do you want to know more details?" She just said sorry and looked v.embarassed. I felt bad later as she is a nice enough lady. I am sure word got around because NO ONE bugged me after that at work. But it does amaze me that even some new acquaintances would ask or sometimes complete strangers and I would say, 'the world is already over populated'. and they would just say 'oh' and that would drop the subject.
Once you finally conceive, you think you are saved but then people ask "when are you going to give that kid a sibling?" like our whole life revolves around us pushing babies out. So after two kids, people would ask "so i guess you are done now" really it never ends so maybe tell them now "ya we aren't planning children" and then when it happens if they come back you can say 'changed our mind'
It is perfectly acceptable to look these people in the eye and ask, "Why on earth would you feel that you can ask me something so personal?"
ReplyDeleteIdiots. :(
And then some!!!! some people have no concept of what is polite to ask and what is rude!!!!!! and or NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!
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